Seen: Charles Martin Smith and Candy Clark in American Graffiti, 1973. George Lucas, director. Heard: "That Summer Feeling" by Jonathan Richman. Jonathan Sings!, 1983. Joe McGasko, DJ.
Not enough of you have joined me in my ongoing war against pre-cut chicken parts, so today I'm here to scream into the void just a little bit more. When full time work vaporized for me, one of the first luxuries to get axed were the neatly trimmed packages of chicken breast or thighs that populate your grocer's meat department. Those babies can cost upwards of five dollars a pound on a bad day, whereas an entire five pound bird can practically be had for a song. There's really no two ways about it—if you're trying to save money during these troubled times yet are still buying pre-cut chicken parts, you automatically relegate yourself to the status of recession amateur.
Keep in mind, I was pretty terrified the first time I tried cutting up a whole bird. I leaned heavily on the scissor technique explained in this short video, and it rather beautifully absorbed all the hesitations I'd associated with this most maligned of culinary tasks. All kidding aside, if someone out there is making a list of the world's most valuable secrets, the ability to dismember a chicken ought to be on it. We'll cover this in detail at some later date, but to get you warmed up to the idea, here's a similar but even easier technique.
I'm talking about spatchcocking—a fun word to type, and one which offers appealing shock value when spoken aloud in the presence of timid company. If you can make a paper snowflake, you can become an expert at this on your first attempt. Spatchcocking's advantages are perhaps too numerous to list, but among them are the simplicity, the minimal time investment, and the supremely rewarding payoff of juicy meat and a crispy exterior. Watch this short video tutorial to get started.
Since it's all about the outdoor grilling during these months of high summer, I opted to make a variation of chicken-under-a-brick, which involves weighing down your freshly spatchcocked bird on the grill with foil-wrapped weights. In lieu of actual bricks, you can also use your biggest and heaviest cast iron skillet to achieve the same effect, which is what I did to make the beastie pictured here.
Naturally, you'll need a marinade. I recommend a mixture of olive oil and whichever seasonings you're in the mood for. Garlic, rosemary, and lemon have a great history together, so why not reap the rewards of this proven flavor trifecta?
Finely chop up the leaves from a few sprigs of fresh rosemary and 4-6 cloves of garlic.
Add about 1/2 cup of extra virgin olive oil.
Apply mixture evenly to both sides of your freshly spatchcocked bird, salt and pepper according to your preference, and then cover and refrigerate for several hours.
Prepare your grill for medium-low cooking.
When grill is hot, retrieve chicken from the fridge, let excess marinade drip off, and squeeze the juice from one whole lemon all over it. Place bird on grill with the skin side down.
When the bird seems settled (3 minutes or so), place your cast iron skillet on top of it, close grill, and let cook for 10-15 minutes. When the skin looks deliciously crispy, flip your bird over, and replace the skillet for another 10-15 minutes of cooking time. And by the mercy of whichever god you tremble in the face of, remember to use an industrial strength pothandle when maneuvering the skillet, or else you could end up reenacting that scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark where the Nazi guy burns the holy hell out of his hand.
When the chicken is done cooking, remove it from the heat and let sit for ten minutes. If you did everything properly—and I can't imagine that you didn't—you'll be basking in the complements of your cookout companions for the remainder of the day. For all your hard work, here's an appropriate MP3 for your iPod's "Backyard Barbecue" playlist.
* = a new or recent release.
[Click here to listen with your preferred media player.]
[Dialog] - ""The Girl Hunt Ballet"" - Ballet Music from MGM Musicals Bongwater - "The Power of Pussy" - The Power of Pussy Ed Kuepper - "Master of Two Servants" - Electrical Storm Starlight Mints - "Rhino Stomp" - Drowation Silk Flowers - "Sand" - Silk Flowers * The Pernice Brothers - "The Ballad of Bjorn Borg" - The World Won't End Moviola - "Wisdom Teeth" - The Year You Were Born John Cale - "Paris 1919" - Paris 1919
The Brisks - "Stone Free" - Sensational Soul Vol. 2 * Brenda Kahn - "I Don't Sleep, I Drink Coffee Instead" - Epiphany in Brooklyn Mors Ontologica - "Demon Incubator" - Don't Cry Jesse Winchester - "Step by Step" - ...And All the Pieces Matter: Five Years of Music from The Wire Boss Hog - "Trouble" - Whiteout Thee Oh Sees - "Tidal Wave" - 7" * Swell Maps - "Black Velvet" - Read About Seymour 7" Ivy Green - "I'm Sure We're Gonna Make It" - Killed by Epitaph 2xLP Mad Bunny, Sad Bunny - "Steal Away" - MP3 Reigns - "Everything Beyond These Walls Has Been Razed" - The House on the Causeway *
39 Clocks - "You Can't Count the Bombs" - Zoned: Recordings 1987-1980...Rewind * Dylan Shearer - "As If" - Planted/Plans * Grifters - "Sweetest Thing" - Full Blown Possession Neil Young - "When You Dance I Can Really Love" - After the Gold Rush Awol One & Factor - "Sunset Sandwich" - Owl Hours * Daniel Savio - "Tough Guy Music" - Skweee Tooth * Macromantics - "Four Facets" - 7" Matson Jones - "Good Advice" - Matson Jones U.S. Girls - "Rise & Go" - Me + Yoko 7" * The Oblivians - "Ride that Train" - The Oblivians Play Nine Songs with Mr. Quintron The Nomads - "Thoughts of a Madman" - Vile Vinyl Vol. 1 * [NOT the Swedish Nomads!] The Golden Dawn - "My Time" - Power Plant
Moe Tucker - "Teenager in Love" - Love is my Only Crime 2xLP Dan Bryk - "Discount Store" - Pop Psychology * Autoclave - "I'll Take You Down" - 20 Years of Dischord Records 3xCD [compilation] Grass Widow - "Yellow Balloons" - Glass Window * Lizz King - "'Til They Do" - The End, Part Two: The Beginning Dean Martin - "Houston" - 7" Sandy Bull - "Gospel Tune" - Fantasias for Guitar and Banjo * Hunters & Collectors - "The Slab" - Inner City Sound: Australian Punk & Post Punk 2xCD Nomeansno - "Would we be Alive?" - Would we be Alive? EP [Residents cover] Big Stick - "Drag Racing" - 12" EP
Lest you think Julian Cope has exclusive rights to promote music made by his "hairy pals", here's a pre-Eagles Joe Walsh from 1971, totally tearing it up with the James Gang on the classic "Walk Away". I'm not shy about my Walsh appreciation, and the obvious appeal of a malnourished-looking man laying down massive boogie with a shaggy batch of cro-magnons should be equally apparent for you. Records, MP3s, whatever... any self respecting fan of dirtbag jams needs this in their repertoire.
[Click here to listen with your preferred media player]
* = new or recent release
Circle - "Alta Rautatammien" - Guillotine The Cure - "A Letter to Elise" - Singles Klement Julienne - "Possoz Boogie" - Panamerican Ike Yard - "Night After Night" - Collected Lee "Scratch" Perry and Ari Up - "Surrender Dub" - Return From Planet Dub * El Da Sensei - "Summertime Bluez" - 12"
Bush Tetras - "Too Many Creeps" - 7" The Blackbyrds - "Rock Creek Park" - Protected: Massive Samples * Eddy Current Suppression Ring - "Pitch a Tent" - Eddy Current Supression Ring * Peter Frampton - "I'll Give You Money" - Frampton Legowelt - "Run to the Hills" - Powerslaves: An Elektro Tribute to Iron Maiden Dokaka - "The Trooper" - MP3 Fatboy Slim - "Right Here Right Now" - Why Try Harder Art Ensemble - "Purple Shades (As One Remix)" - Flipside: Tale of the Twelve B-Sides Black Sheep - "The Doorway Character" - At the BBC * [Julian Cope & "Hairy Pals"]
Tim Maia - "Primavera" - Tim Maia T. Texas Tyler - "My Dad Gave my Dog Away" - Report From The Country, Part 7: The Cruel World * 13th Floor Elevators - "Gloria" - Sign of the Three Eyed Men 10x CD Box Set * Lyres - "We Sell Soul" - Some Lyres Mogwai - "The Sun Smells too Loud" - The Hawk Is Howling Enablers - "A Not So Pretty Sight in Steinbeck Country" - End Note Crime & The City Solution - "The Greater Head" - The Bride Ship Patrick Gibson / The Systematics - "5/4 Fisted Tales of the Holy Trinity" - M Squared -- Rare Recordings 1979-1983 * Big Blood - "Well Water" - Already Gone 1 *
Reigning Sound - "Trash Talk" - Love and Curses * Si Begg - "England" - Director's Cut Sylvesters - "Explosure" - Reckless Roots Rockers [Wackies comp.] Al Martino - "Begin The Beguine" - The Essential Al Martino 2xCD Jace Everett - "Bad Things" - Jace Everett Gun Club - "Mother of Earth" - Miami The Ponys - "10 Fingers 11 Toes" - Laced with Romance Willie Loco Alexander - "You Got a Hard Time Coming" - 7" Void - "Who Are You?" - Faith/Void Split LP Squirrelbait - "Tape from California" - Skag Heaven [Phil Ochs cover] The Died Pretty - "Mirror Blues" - Out of the Unknown 12" Olivelawn - "College Volume Pedal" - Sap
1. Eggs. 2. Chicken stock. 3. Guinness. 4. Vinegar. 5. Ketchup. 6. Raw bacon. 7. Butter. 8. A very, very small piece of my thumb, lost while dicing garlic. (Ouch!) 9. Garam Masala. 10. Shrimp cocktail sauce. 11. Red wine. 12. Hot curry paste. 13. 4C breadcrumbs. 14. Corn Flakes. 15. Thai basil. 16. Duck fat. 17. Particulate Boca matter. 18. Turkey sausage. 19. Kale.
I made hamburgers last night that included two of the above additives (I'm not telling which ones.) Such practices have earned me a reputation for ruining the hamburger's good name, as well as usurping its distinction as the ultimate in proletarian sustenance. My detractors claim that by adding such a wide variety of alien ingredients to what is supposed to be a simple dish, I am transforming the hamburger into something it just isn't meant to be. "Meatloaf", comes the inevitable critique from my summer barbecue guests. "These hamburgers taste like meatloaf".
The problem stems from the fact that there is no widely approved recipe for hamburgers. No one pulls a cookbook down off the shelf when they're setting out to make them, and perhaps that's why I'm driven to empty so much edible flotsam into mine. Nearly everyone I know loves hamburgers, and for years I have longed for some signature burger recipe which I like to imagine myself only revealing after being begged and pleaded with for hours. Imagine the satisfaction in finally announcing that the secret weapon ingredient in one's most exalted meat patties is something totally stupid like kale or corn flakes! I could very easily see myself being officially crowned the King of Summer.
On the downside, I'm troubled to announce that I've never actually been very satisfied with the hamburgers I've made, and maybe after looking at that list of ingredients, you are none too surprised by this. I've even tried buying all different grades of beef and grinding it myself, but suffice to say, the best local burgers continue to be those that I order out. Although it's been ages since I've entered the legendary Corner Bistro (Jane St., Manhattan), or darkened the doorway of DuMont (by the Lorimer L stop in Williamsburg), both are remembered as first-rate eateries with established reputations for some of the finest burgers in New York. Perhaps, then, it is my curse to live out my mortal life on an endless quest for the perfect homemade burger, and if so, I expect the sound of Throbbing Gristle's "Hamburger Lady" to accompany me throughout all my remaining years.
Listen:
If you've got any secret weapon ingredients for amazing hamburgers, you're welcome to add them to my ever-growing list. Clearly, my recklessness knows no boundary where such matters are concerned.
[Click here to listen with your preferred media player]
* = new or recent release
Baby Gramps - "Cape Cod Girls" - Rogue's Gallery - Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs & Chanteys B. Fleischmann - "Static Grate" - The Humbucking Coil Neil Young - "Four Strong Winds" - Comes a Time Dave Edmunds - "The Creature From the Black Lagoon" - Repeat When Necessary Coralie Clement - "Share the Day" - Toystore * Zmrzlina - "Psychobabble" - Katastrophe Vol. 3 Abner Jay - "Woke up this Morning" - One Man Band Blues Control - "Rest on Water" - Local Flavor * The Pains of Being Pure At Heart - "Ramona" - 7" *
Girls At Our Best - "Go for Gold" - Pleasure * [Re-issue] Honolulu Mountain Daffodils - "(Hanging on the Crosses) by the Side of the Road" - Guitars of the Oceanic Undergrowth Rocket From The Crypt - "Ditch Digger (Live)" Emilio Santiago - "Bananeira" - Black Rio 2: Original Samba Soul 1971-1979 * [compilation] Deep Purple - "Black Night" Lydia Lunch & the Anubian Lights - "Smoke in the Shadows" - Smoke in the Shadows EP Roman Soldiers - "Yuppie Fires" - 7" * [Gary War-related] Vangelis - "Tears in Rain" - "Blade Runner" [[soundtrack]] Osterdalsmusikk - "Bukkehorniat Etter Ole Eggen" - Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair: Norwegian Folk Jazz 1971-1977 * [compilation] The Units - "Cowboy" - History of the Units: The Early Years (1977-1983) *
Citay - "Little Kingdom" - Amps Across the Hudson: Liz Berg's 2009 Marathon Premium * [Recorded live at WFMU] Love & Rockets - "Sweet F.A." - Sweet F.A. Sir Richard Bishop - "Enta Omri" - The Freak of Araby * Chen Fan Lan - "Slave of Love" - The True Vine 78 Series, Vol. 8 * [Comp of Malaysian 60s pop] Mike Stevens and the Shevelles - "Go-Go Train" - Doin' the Mod, Vol. 1 Mr. Bloe - "Groovin' with Mr. Bloe" - 7" Wimple Winch - "Thinking About Your Love" - Tales From the Sinking Ship * [Rarities, 64-68] The Spectrometers - "Electric Mist" - Dead Soul Music * Bishop Perry Tillis - "Servant, Well Done" - In Times Like These * Bruce Springsteen - "The Wrestler" - "The Wrestler" * [[soundtrack]] Brother JT - "That's What they All Say" - Not My Life The Easter Monkeys - "Underpants" - Splendor of Sorrow
The Pagans - "Boy Can I Dance Good" - Everybody Hates You! Ground Zero - "The 11th Hour of the Original Skimpy Peanut Cluster" - Pink Juke - "College Town" - Can of Pork [compilation] Minutemen - "Storm in my House" - 2x5 on the 10 Great Excape - "Dead Flowers" - Demo * Fastbacks - "Better than Before" - Very, Very Powerful Motor J Dilla feat. Black Thought - "Reality Check" - Jay Stay Paid [From the Free Music Archive] Harper Lake - "Rubies [DeVille & Tyrant RMX]" - Senseless Records Vocals & Versions, Vol. 2 * Six Finger Satellite - "[Side One]" - Clone Theory 12" EP
Friday: My wife and I met friends at the South Street Seaport to see a band called The Pains of Being Pure at Heart perform for hundreds of very polite young people. I thought they sounded like the Jesus and Mary Chain crossed with a Pepsi commercial. She said they reminded her of the Connells—a band I had not thought about in several thousand years, so kudos to her for whipping out explicit references in the face of my rote sarcasm. That said, TPOBPAH might be the most appallingly good-natured band I have ever seen, making even the most earnest, NPR-approved indie rock seem like black metal in comparison. In spite of my general disinterest in such music, I must commend their singer for deploying a brilliant on-stage comment which went something like: "Good night, God bless America, and we'll see you all at Pizzeria Uno!" Let's hear it for the death of irony, eh?
Saturday: Evening plans to hit Coney Island for the Cyclones game were scrapped because of the crummy weather forecast, so we instead devoted the day to gastronomical adventures that had me doing food-inspired happydances not once, not twice, but three times for three different meals!
Breakfast: Leftover buttermilk pancake batter retrieved from deep freeze, cooked up with fresh blueberries and strawberries, plus orange maple syrup. Crazy delicious. [Recipe here]
Lunch: A late morning voyage to the supermarket revealed that it is finally heirloom tomato season! We wasted no time in selecting two of the ripest and gnarliest looking purple and yellow specimens, and to the grocery cart also added a loaf of still-warm sourdough bread and an appealing wad of fresh mozzarella cheese. Back home, we cut the bread into lengthwise slices, spread leftover rocket pesto on each side, added the cheese, tomato, some windowbox basil, and a splash of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Result? Heaven on a stick, bub. Heaven on a stick.
Dinner: I'd recently seen an episode of Tyler Florence on which he made jerk chicken, so with a whole bird already stashed in our fridge and most of the other ingredients within easy reach, I decided a major culinary project would be just the thing to take our minds off the missed Cyclones game (they got stomped, by the way.) Anyhow, here's the recipe we based our jerk chicken on, but with the following alterations: Instead of a Scotch-bonnet pepper, we used some unknown green chili. Also, since we're not crazy enough to try smoking meat inside with only makeshift equipment, we soaked a bowl full of cedar chips and prepared the outdoor grill for this first critical step. (I put the soaked chips in a big cast-iron skillet, got 'em good and smoldering, and then laid a slotted grill tray on top of it to rest the chicken on. This hasty bit of improvisation worked out well, but I fear the skillet may be done for as a result of subjecting it to such trauma.) The end result was magnificent, as was the accompanying corn porridge [recipe], which we consumed while watching The English Patient. This was my first re-viewing of the Oscar-winning film since it debuted in 1996, and it once again inspired the familiar debate over whether Kristin Scott Thomas is hotter than Juliette Binoche, or likewise, if Naveen Andrews is hotter than Ralph Fiennes. No definitive conclusions were reached, but I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that it's been too long since such a drool-worthy cast has been assembled for any film, major or independent.
Sunday: Slept late for a change. Cooked up some navy eggs for breakfast. Poked around garden, pulled weeds, listened to a few Cheap Trick and Augustus Pablo records, and then went for a long bike ride. I also finished that incredibly gripping New Yorker article from a couple weeks ago about U.S. troop deployments in Iraq (you can read it here, though you must register for the New Yorker's horrifically designed website), and prepped for tomorrow morning's radio program on WFMU. Speaking of which, it's nearly time for me to go pass out for a few hours before showtime...